Open Book
Posted on September 30, 2009 - Filed Under Life
It was pointed out to me recently that writing things here makes my life an open book. I agree to an extent.
The things I write here on my piece of virtual real estate are personal, but they are also things that I feel other people have gone through or may go through. If someone reads this garbage and realizes that there is at least one other person in the world going through the ups and downs that they are then I see nothing wrong with opening my life up a little bit.
Sometimes, the kindest gifts or gestures come from complete strangers and this is no different to me.
People should also understand that what I write here is a small bit of my life, and you get the filtered version.
Writing helps me deal with the things I encounter every day, good and bad. It is cheaper than therapy and easier than taking Prozac every day. I may not be the best writer but I manage.
The last six months have been a great learning experience for me. I hit the lowest part of my life when Toni left me, and one of the highest parts when I learned to be myself again. It is like being on the bottom of the ocean and finally coming up for air.
I have finally come to terms with the fact that my relationship ended and that it will never be the same. I was fortunate enough to share a lot of good and bad with someone who felt that I was important enough to share that with. You don’t get that very often in life and I can stand back now and appreciate it for what it is.
I imagine I will still have down days and that is probably part of the process.
Sometimes closing one door opens another and that is where I find myself today. I am going out enjoying my time with new and old friends and it feels great.
I have learned that you absolutely cannot rely on other people for your own happiness. Being happy with myself is a new concept to me. I have never, in my entire life, been happy with myself the way that I am now. Very liberating when you accept who and what you are.
Wish I had learned that lesson a long time ago.
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