Bathroom Terror
Posted on June 30, 2008 - Filed Under Humor, Life, Work
I have seen a lot of things that bother me while using the mens room at work. Most of the time it is basic stuff like people not washing their hands, leaving the stall door open and minor issues like that.
Last week I walked into the bathroom and as I approached the row of urinals I noticed that something wasn’t quite right. There was a man standing at the urinal with his pants and underwear pulled all the way down to his ankles. What the hell?
I honestly did not know what to do. It locked me up for a moment. It was a “did I just really see that” kind of thing.
He was obviously caught off guard as well because he scrambled to pull his pants up and leave the bathroom. I don’t even want to know what he was doing and why it required a full blown open exposure to the elements.
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My co-worker Jim had a funny story about the same bathroom. Jim noticed that there were footprints on the toilet seats all of the time. No prints on the lid, just on the seats. Jim brushed it off but continued to come across the footprints every now and then.
So one afternoon Jim wanders into the bathroom thinking he is alone. Jim sets up shop in one of the stalls and is enjoying a nice quiet experience when he hears a noise that did not come from him. He looks over and can see a pair of feet stepping down off of the toilet in the stall next to him. That is something right out of a b-grade horror movie.
So the toilet stander exits the stall, washes up and leaves the bathroom while Jim is left to wonder what the heck just happened.
We think the guy might just want to avoid the toilet seats as a hygiene issue, but then you have to realize how difficult it would be to stand and squat on the seat. The biggest issue is that your pants would get in the way no matter how you try to arrange yourself on the seat.
I told Toni about this and she suggested that we are dealing with a stall peeper, and thinking about it, that makes more sense. I have not dropped that bit of wisdom on Jim yet and I am sure he’ll be mortified when I do.
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Maybe there is a hidden camera somewhere and the stalker has to stand on the seat to change the tape. Look up. Of course that doesn’t explain why he wouldn’t just stand on the lid.